Creating Us - Episode 109: The Most Important Question

Join me as I discuss what I believe is the most important question we can explore as leaders. 

Comments/Questions? Let me know at Jason.Weber@ttu.edu 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:09

Welcome to the Creating Us podcast, hosted by the Office of Leader and Culture Development. I'm Jason, and I'm excited to be with you today as we talk about a question. A question that I think is a leader's most important question. Alright, here we go. I want to welcome everyone back to the Creating Us podcast. I'm really excited to do this episode today because I've been sitting on a question. I've been sitting on this idea, and I've been trying to figure out what is the most effective way that I can get this out to really our podcast audience. And it all revolves around a question. One of my favorite questions to ask leaders is how do you want people to experience you? There's a lot of different angles someone could take when they're wanting to respond to that question. And that's the part that I've been sitting with. How do we appropriately analyze or even think about this question as leaders? There's a lot that goes into it. I mean, think about this question. How do you want people to experience you? There's a lot of weight behind that question. And so what I'd like to do today is I want to go on a journey with you. And I want to answer this question looking at it through the lens of servant leadership. This will be grounded in writings by Robert Greenleaf, Larry Spears, and Justin Irving. Of course, I'm going to include a broader philosophy in here as well, but I what I want to offer is how we might be able to use a question like this to reflect and reset how we impact others. So, first, why does this question matter? And especially if we're going to consider this lens of servant leadership. Well, servant leadership begins with identity and intention. It's about who you are before what you do. See, Greenleaf's central premise is that leadership is born from a desire to serve, which shapes how others experience us. This question invites leaders to step back from tasks, metrics, and outcomes and focus on the impact of their presence on people. Now, one of the reasons why I think this question is so difficult is because we're going beyond tasks, metrics, and outcomes, what we're doing is we're focusing on something that we have to assume, something that hopefully we get feedback on. I mean, think about that. How often do you know how the impact that you're making on people? If you are the uh if you are somebody who has the ability to have a 360 evaluation done on you, you'll probably hear some feedback. But if we're not intentionally asking people, how do you experience me? What do you take away from my leadership? What do you take away from my relationship with you? Then how do we know? If servant leadership is about elevating the growth and well-being of others, then asking how people experience us becomes foundational. Our presence is often remembered long after our decisions. So let's build on this. When we're thinking about this idea of servant leadership, the presence is not accidental, it's purposeful. There are a number of things, a number of ways in which we experience leaders. One, tone, maybe their availability, their emotional regulation, curiosity and humility, consistency between words and actions. When we have alignment in some of these key areas, what we're saying is that you matter as a person, and I'm here to support your growth. Now, if we connect it to Larry Spears in his work, he talks about these certain characteristics of a servant leadership, meaning empathy, awareness, listening, healing, and building community. So again, going back to this question of how do we want people to experience us, or how do you want people to experience you as a leader? What we're really diving into is how are you showing up? Are you showing up in a manner that reflects your values? Are you showing up in a manner that brings those desired character traits to life? Within those questions, requires assessment and awareness. I think we could pause here because there's another question that I haven't asked you, and I know I've given you a lot of them, but there's another question here. Do you know what fuels your flame? Do you know what keeps you going? What is your passion? Why do you do what you do? I I again I could go on and on and on. I'm smiling as I say all this because I'm realizing how many questions I am absolutely hammering you with. But the point of this is this is about our reflection, our ability to look at how we are showing up. And if I don't have clarity into my values, my character traits, then how do I know I'm showing up in the right way? So let's build on this some more. What if we connected this question? And again, the question is, how do you want people to experience you? What if we connected it to Greenleaf's best test? Now, Greenleaf's best test is do those served grow as persons? Do they, while being served, become healthier, wiser, freer, more autonomous, more likely themselves to become servants? And what is the effect on the least privileged in society? Do they benefit, or at least are they not further deprived? As we think about this best test that Greenleaf gives us, when he uses these phrasing, uh, these phrases such as becoming healthier, wiser, freer, more autonomous, that's going to take a different context based on who you are. One of the things that I enjoy doing is when I'm working with a group, no matter what type of industry they are in, is I will ask them that question. When we look at becoming healthier, wiser, freer, more autonomous, what does that mean to you? Because what if you're not a medical doctor? What does healthier look like? What if you work in business? What if you work in IT? What if you work in education? What does healthier look like? I would encourage you to play around with that. But to keep this connected to our question, if people experience you as someone who is supportive, I would argue that they grow in confidence. If people experience you as somebody who is empowering, then they grow in autonomy. If they view you as someone who is clear and honest, then they grow in wisdom. And if you are somebody who is viewed as grounded and humble, then they're gonna grow in authenticity. Really, what we're doing is we're creating a mirror. It's a mirror for not only evaluating ourselves, but even evaluating the leaders who are in our circle, our care, our environment. This can be used whether we're looking up, whether we're looking across, or whether we're looking down. So as of late, one of the tools that I've been connecting this question and many others to comes from Dr. Justin Irving. Now, Dr. Irving has a nine-element framework, so to speak, in regards to how do we bring servant leadership into the workplace. One of these dimensions in his workplace in his model is that of team effectiveness. And within that, he talks about three elements. And this could be referred to as Irving's leadership triad. The I usually use the phrase uh Irving's leadership triangle. So if you can imagine a triangle, and on the very top, I want you to imagine or even write down communicating with clarity. See, we've got to understand in the context of this question of how do I want people to experience me, that people will experience you through the clarity or confusion you create. Communication is essential. Now, we know this is something that we all want to improve. I look back on my experiences and I ask people this question of if there was one thing that we could improve in our team, what would it be? And 98, 99% of the time, I'm going to hear communication or an element of. So it starts with our ability to communicate. And I would argue, even before then, it requires us to have clarity around who we are. What are the character traits that you value? What are the values that you embody? What is it that lights that flame inside of you? That's your consistency. That whenever somebody is interacting with you, they know this is what I'm going to get from this person. That's the depth of clarity I want you to have. Okay, so back to Irving's triangle or this triad here. So again, imagine a triangle on the very top, we've got communicating with clarity. Next, we've got providing accountability. So in the lower right, if you want to write providing accountability. So people experience you as fair, developmental, and consistent, or as punitive and unpredictable. How do you want people to experience you? Are you somebody who's going to hold people accountable? Now remember, accountability should be easy. Accountability is not punishment. Accountability is setting clear expectations. So it starts with communicating with clarity. For example, if I have an expectation that my team shows up at 8 a.m. ready to work, well, if they show up at 8 10, 8.15, 8 30, then it's my responsibility to say something. It's my responsibility to hold them accountable to that. If the expectation's been set, hold it to them. Stop making excuses. All right, before I go down that rabbit hole, let's go back to our triangle. So again, on the top, we've got communicating with clarity. Lower right, we've got providing accountability, or lower left, whatever you feel like. And then in the other open corner, you're gonna have supporting and resourcing. Now, when we think about how we want people to experience us, supporting and resourcing, this is people experience you as someone who removes barriers or somebody who adds them. So again, you can think about where do I want to be? Do I want to be a barrier remover or a barrier adder? I also want to bring in some John Maxwell because John Maxwell, one of the things that I enjoy the most, is that he talks about, uh, especially as leaders, we've got to stop our putting our focus on being a ladder climber and we need to become a ladder builder. How are we helping other people climb their ladders, grow as well? So let's look through this. Communicating with clarity. Do you want to be the leader that provides clarity or confusion? Under providing accountability, do you want to be a leader who's fair, developmental, and consistent or punitive and unpredictable? And then under supporting and resourcing, do you want to be somebody who's viewed as or experienced as somebody who removes barriers or someone who adds them? The beauty of this and the challenge of this is it's up to you. You decide where do you want to be. But this all goes back to that question of how do you want people to experience you. I want you to have clarity around the idea that when people interact with me, when people are led by me, whatever that may be, I want you to have a confidence of consistency. Because here's the thing: we can get that. We absolutely can get that. If you are aware of how you want people to experience you, then that gives you the ability to do that. But if we're just wandering around going, I don't know, I'm just gonna come in and do my job, well, guess what? You're gonna get unreliability, you're gonna get unpredictability, and you're gonna create confusion. So please, if you're going to do anything as a leader, figure out who you are as a person. How do I do that? If this is something that you're listening and you're going, I hear you, but I how do I do that? I want to introduce you to Mary Crosson. Mary Crosson is a very well-known professor and author in the character and virtue space. She's got some amazing resources. If you just Google her, Mary Crosson, you're gonna find it. And some of the things that she talks about, and one of her most popular items, is that of a character wheel. And within that, we have our different character dimensions that revolve around our judgment. These are the areas that really impact how we make decisions. But we've got to think about with our character traits, it's not only about identifying them, but it's also becoming aware of what are our overuses and what are our underuses. And those can be our vices. So, for example, if I say that I want to be somebody who's experienced as courageous, that I'm courageous, well, one of our overuses could be stubbornness. Maybe I'm somebody who wants to be viewed as humble, but an underuse could be arrogance. Maybe I want to be uh somebody who's viewed as uh accountable. I want accountability as one of my character virtues. It's what I really want to live. Well, an overuse could become harshness. And then empathy. Maybe I want empathy as one of my character traits. Well, an underuse could become detachment. Now, here's the reality when we're thinking about our character traits. One, it's a work in progress. I don't believe there is a perfect use, a perfect version. One of the challenges that we have to work with is that leaders rarely intend to make a negative impact. Let me say that again. Leaders rarely intend to make a negative impact on someone. Another way of phrasing that is I don't know that I've ever come across a leader who said, you know, when they get up in the morning, they're like, how can I mess up someone's day? I don't see that. I would argue that we want to do good. And so when we're running into those situations where maybe we're perceiving something to not be good, how open are we willing to be? How curious are we about why someone does what they do? And at the same time, just because somebody responds or acts in a way that you don't agree with, that does not, nor should it give you the permission to go and do whatever you want. How do you want people to experience you? There's an element of consistency there. And so understanding not only this leadership triangle, communicating with clarity, providing accountability, supporting and resourcing, looking at the work of Larry Spears when he talks specifically about empathy, awareness, listening, healing, building community, and then considering Crossen's worth around character, these points should bring consistency and clarity for how you act. And remember, I'm only talking about you here. Because once we have clarity in regards to who we want to be viewed as a leader, then the next best and most powerful thing that we can do is model. How are you modeling that leadership? See, one of the points that I think we all need to be reminded of is, and I and I've heard this from so many different authors, so many different perspectives, which brings value to it. And my hope is that when I say this, you've heard about it too. There's a million and one ways to do things. Be you. Be you. That's the best version of you. That's how I want you to show up. Don't try and be someone else. Learn from others. Learn what you want to be and what you don't want to be, because that's again how we build our perspective. But be you. That's the most important thing. We're not gonna fit with everyone. I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea. Not everyone's my cup of tea. That's okay. It's not a matter of right or wrong, but it's about making sure that we've developed a sense of clarity around who we want to be so that we can show up in the best version of ourselves, regardless of the environment we're in. Now, one of the ways that one of the connection points. Points, I should say, that often gets connected with this. And this is an episode in and of itself, so I'm only going to mention it. But it's that of intention. Like, what is intention? You know, we've seen this in surveys from many different organizations and industries. And most leaders believe that they are supportive, approachable, and clear. But many employees experience something very different. This is why reflection, feedback, and development are essential. We've got to be willing to work on ourselves. One of the uh recent readings that I've I've undertaken is Ryan Gottfriedson's book, Becoming Better. Oh, I love this book. And I want to encourage you if you're a reader, read this book. And one of the things he talks about is this idea of the toolbox. Now we talk about it here at the Texas Tech System, and I'm very supportive of it, and people are, but we talk about tools, right? We want to teach you tools to be able to add to your toolbox. Well, one of the things that Gottfredson says is he goes, Well, that's great. I think we're missing something. And what he says is instead of worrying about improving our tools, we need to improve the person using the tools. Instead of improving the tools, we need to improve the person using the tools. That's where this reflection comes back. Feedback plays into it. Our own development of how can I better handle emotional situations, how can I better handle difficult conversations on and on and on. It's always about learning and growing. The bottom line is this whatever the answer to this question of how do you want people to experience you, whatever your answer is, I'll end with this. I think that should be your North Star. Because when we think about this question of how do you want people to experience you, then for servant leaders, it should be reflecting your values, your aspirations, the culture you hope to build, and the community you're trying to strengthen. I want to give you uh some questions. These are a daily calibration, so to speak. And I would encourage you to write this down or replay this next segment because I really want you to hear these questions. So there are three questions that I want you to consider when you're thinking about the leader that you are trying to become. The first question, did people walk away from me more confident? Question two, did they feel seen, heard, and supported? And question three, did I show up in a way that aligns with my best self and our shared values? So let me give you to the let me give you those questions again. Did people walk away from me more confident? Did they feel seen, heard, and supported? And did I show up in a way that aligns with my best self and our shared values? And so for all of you team members across the Texas Tech Unite University system, I want you to go back to our shared core values. Whether you're with TTUHSC in El Paso, in Lubbock, in Abilene, in the Permian Basin, in Amarillo, whether you're with Midwestern State, Angelo State, with Texas Tech, or with our system administration. How are your actions bringing our shared values to life? The bottom line is this servant leadership is about impact. Not how impressive we are, but how people grow because of the way we show up. So, how do you want people to experience you? This, to me, might be one of the most important questions a leader ever asks. I want to thank you for taking the time to listen to this episode of the Creating Us Podcast. If you have any comments or questions, please let me know at jason.weber at ttu.edu. Until next time, I'm Jason. Take care.